I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
