Cold hands, warm shart.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
