Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
