Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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