i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
