I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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