I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I take back everything I said about communal showers
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
