jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
