i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
