i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
