a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I want a musical about memes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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