Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
