this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
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I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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