just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Randomize
