I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
