I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
