brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
