She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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