So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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