Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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