goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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