Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
