how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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