East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
