I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
