High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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