Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
