Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
