Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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