the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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