Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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