I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
