We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
