Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
