BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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