she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
