I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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