Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
