You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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