Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
