So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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