Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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