We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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