She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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