in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
