he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
