Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
