This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
