I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
