If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
