barbara walters just said penis...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
