Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
