im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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