there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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