She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
