More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize