I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
