he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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