hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
